How Can I Help My Grandparent Now That They Are Diagnosed with Cancer?

When a grandparent is diagnosed with cancer, it affects the entire family group. The adult children of the individual often react with shock and distress about the risk of losing the parent. Grandchildren who are very young may only understand that the elder is sick, but he or she can sense the concern in others. Older children may not know how to interact with the patient or may wonder how to provide assistance. Teen grandchildren may react with anger or avoidance. A wide range of confusing emotions and reactions are normal after the diagnosis of a serious illness. Parents and the ailing family member should work together to provide information for children and to help them understand what is happening. These feelings should be acknowledged and accepted, so that the family can continue to provide the practical assistance and emotional support the patient needs.

The Day of Diagnosis
The first day that an individual learns he or she has the disease is just the beginning of a long journey that can be physically difficult and emotionally exhausting. The ailing family member may go through a number of emotions, such as shock, disbelief, fear, anger or despondency. As a grandchild, you too will have to deal with your own fears about the seriousness of the illness. If you are an adult grandchild, you can be there from the first day of diagnosis, ready to lend your support, your presence will trigger the impulse to be brave and will intensify the desire to fight the disease.

Informing Young Grandchildren
Don’t try to hide the diagnosis from young children, who are very sensitive to the changes of emotions, activities and schedules in a household. Information provided to these children should be at the level of understanding they can handle. Don’t be afraid to use the word “cancer,” but make it clear that they didn’t cause the cancer, and they cannot catch it.

Staying Connected, Whether Near or Far Away
Keeping grandchildren informed about the elder’s illness could differ whether he or she lives close by, or lives far away. Children may be aware of when the elder family member is ill from treatment or cannot interact with them as before because of fatigue. The parents should make sure that children know this is all part of the treatment that can will get the elder well again. When the elder lives far away, children may not be aware of these day-to-day changes. Parents should prepare children, in advance of a visit, for changes in appearance or activity level. Either way, children should be encouraged to bring pictures they have drawn or books they have enjoyed, to share with the elder. Sharing the time and interests can have a beneficial effect on the patient and will ensure that children understand that the illness is not to be feared and avoided. Adult grandchildren can offer support and diversion by keeping the elder informed of events in their lives and in the world, at large.

Offering Practical Assistance
At whatever age they are, children can benefit from offering practical assistance to the patient. Simple chores such as sorting laundry, walking the dog, putting away groceries or doing household chores will allow the children feel they are contributing to the care of the patient, as well as let the elder feel loved and cared for. Teen and adult grandchildren can schedule appointments, drive to treatments and do errands for the patient.

Be Honest At The Appropriate Level
Children with family members who are seriously ill naturally have questions about their dying. Be honest about the uncertainty of the situation, but also offer hope about the ability of treatment to help the elder feel better. Keep the information at a developmental level they can understand, without using complex terminology that can be mysterious or unsettling. Adult grandchildren may be aware of the seriousness of the illness. They should continue to offer support, as needed, to help the patient cope with the condition. Often, the simple act of being present to read to the patient or be on hand is the best gift you can give a grandparent dealing with illness.

A diagnosis of a cancerous condition, though troubling, can be an opportunity to draw a family closer and provide assistance for the patient dealing with emotions and discomforts of this difficult time. It can also provide children and grandchildren with practical tools for dealing with life’s common problems.

 

Source: CellMark Biopharma

from CellMark Biopharma http://www.cellmarkbiopharma.com